To be prepared. answer? To be negatively. Yup, that's it.

Being negatively could be good you know? Especially for my situation. Being negatively prepares you for the worst scenario that can ever happen. My case? Everything seems to be going into the "worst scenario" mode. Ya, sure, you see me as still a cheerful ass hole guy that jumps around. That's the outside. Inside, haiz.

So still a nice guy and i guess i should always remain like that cause it won't and i mean WON'T mess up anything. OMG! Falling in love cause my life to be so messed up. Be a nice guy. Remain a nice guy.

Ok, so i apologise to you already and just hope that things will get through. Ya. I can't really do much now. What is done is done. But again, i know i have done wrong so i apologise sincerely to you, i am sorry. (Ok.. like you will read this cause you never come here)

Negative lifestyle, nice guy, worst scenario ever, apologise that shall go. Not bad, what a life. That's why i can't get out of this school. Oh come on, it's like less than 50 days only.

Tags: Crying holy, holy, holy

Hm... Let me see... Nothing much i guess. Exams are near and i got to admit, sec 4 ain't really that stressful as compared to sec 3. Sec 4 life is just all about studies, therefore, it set out and its the pace for you. Ya, pretty much.

Lie nothing much happenings except yesterday when i went to the SHINE dinner and we had free, i mean free dinner at Sakura restaurant. Ya, it was nice. Clipping people with the clips and talking about the food. Like the beef steak which is rock solid. Had fun making new friends from fellow, BVSS, no, not Bukit View Sec but Bedok View Sec. Ya. They are fun guys.

Still, just a Nice Guy. Talking about nice guy, recently i have been watching some Wong Fu Production shows and i came across this drama, Just A Nice Guy. Haiz. It just so true. I mean it was a really good story and a very heart warming one. Don't get me wrong, i ain't gay just because i think this drama is heart warming. It's just so true. Here's Part 1 of the drama and below are the url for the other two parts. Hope you will really enjoy this drama. I do.


Part 1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMGeWGvDHTA
Part 2

http://wongfuproductions.com/store/NICEGUY/
Part 3

Enjoy.

So when they ask, how's life? Ans: Struggle.

Tags: "Ya, i know him. Such a sweetheart. He's a good friend of mine." Haiz

I so totally hate this feeling. This time ain't guilt that is killing me but my emptiness of spiritual, emotional, mental love. Damn it! Just got over it and now it is back on me again. Crap it.

Anyway, nothing much happened today. Really like the same other days. O ya, today i desire so much chocolate. Ate chocolate in class then also ate more at home. Stress relief pills. Omg. Then also talk a bit with Shu Li and David Rachel. As usual i guess. (To the boys at the other end and at the front) Stupid.

Guess that's about all since life now is all about stress and studies. Don't really have much space for love i guess. Tomorrow will be a new and will be great. I wish.

Tags: There is non like you.

Stumble across this forum which is like super juicy and hot. No.. not pron stars but actually a forum that talks about sex life and couples.

It was damn funny, the topics. Like there's one reply from this girl, which she ended writing an essay on how she got horny and asked her boyfriend for sex and they both did. Like, tonnes of times already!! Would you reject such a favour from your girlfriend? I would. You know why? It's adultery you sick pervos!! Anyway, she was like saying about all this things on her reply and also said that her boyfriend's cock is like... HUGE!!! Like a treetruck. Rough and bushy yet very nice. Sick girl! Wonder when will she get pregnant with a baby cause she doesn't even wear a stupid rubber protection call condom!

Then Lynette and i were just like talking about all this teen sex and weirdly, she also came across this forum too! So we were talking about this hot topic and laughing a lot in class.

O ya, something crazy happened in class today. You know, deodorant fight?? all because of the stupid ass smell from outside then someone started spraying Evelyn's fruity thingy spray then another guy also spray his deodorant and then i also passed mine over to some guy to spray. So like 3 types of smell in class and Hao Jie got owned by HK for spraying too much. (I can't mention their names, kinda of like..)

Ok.. 3 tests tomorrow and is a must score thing. Got to go.

Tags: I cried over you again.

Hm.... What can i say... Stress and guilt. Ya..

Prelims are in 9 days and the big O level is in 66 days. Stress, ya, stacking on me already, but i don't want to be too stress. Haiz. Tomorrow still got E maths mock paper 2 and here i am studying SS for prelims and using the computer. Guess i will practice my maths after this. Anyway, my prep results weren't too bad as i thought.

Ok, guilt. I didn't help when i was suppose to just give up my seat for a stranger. OMG! I mean it maybe nothing to you but when i did not, i felt so damn ass. It happened when we (the class of 4e2, actually Shu Li and i went there first) went to visit Aung Htet. Then when going home, saw this lady who needed the seat and i didn't give it to her. So felt guilty the whole day later on. To love a stranger is not easy. Love your neighbours as yourself.

Tags: There could be more than this.

Remember there's one post when i was talking about how it ain't easy to look at things positively. It is just not that simple. Its like you tell yourself that it is ok and you should just get over it but when the real thing hits you, it is just so difficult to get over it. Just so...

I guess it just happened to me again. This time is worst. Randy Puasch once said that the brickwalls are there to stop us from what we want but shows our determination when we want it more. This time, i think i may have come or stumble on my greatest brickwall. Be it love, studies and just the way of life. I guess that is what i will be talking about. It hitted me hard.

I don't know about yo guys but i am actually depressed. My love life just seem so dull. I don't know. Remember the post when i talk about people saying that you are good and worth but when you confess or admit, they just come up with plenty of reasons to reject you in a very nice and innocent manner. Take for example, DPA, Te do rejections in a very polite manner but in actual fact, they need to say was, "You aren't good enough for our course and your write up isn't what we want, so just go FUCK off and continue working hard. All the best in your studies. Its pretty irritating that they say things like that. Same goes for humans. When they do not want you, they could have just say fuck off and die.

The next is also damn shit. I swear. It feels damn shit when you work so hard for something and when the day comes, you just can't come out with anything. Its not being blackout but you have the idea and answers in your mind but you just can't seem to speak or get them out. That's worst then being blackout. The answer and marks are just a pen or a mouth away and you just can't seem to get it out. That is pure shit! How would you like to feel that? Blackout is bad enough so try doubling the feeling of blackout and you'll get what i mean. Shit!

Finally, the hardest in total is being positive every time and for everything. You know when people say that you have to stay positive throughout in order to keep your dreams alive? I am starting to think that that is pure bull shit. Staying positive for me just makes the hit harder when it just appear to my eyes. Some of you may just think that i am not opened to ideas and comments but look, your friend tells you that you are fine! There ain't any problem with me (from how i access myself from Randy Pausch) but why is all this happening to me? That's the crazy part. It seems like i don't have control over the things that i am positive about and the only things that turns out well when i am positive is when i have it in my hands. The things i don't have control about just hits me back hard. Positive thinking there but a stupid negative hit back. BIG SMACK TO THE FACE. It is damn pain. Just don't feel like doing anything but ...

Overall, worst of the hardest is when all these happen at once. Studies, love and life. Studies is going down with the exams you need to score and where you don't want just a pass, love where you just seem so empty without and finally, the life that you just don't seemed filled. All at once, hitting you hard. Ain't easy to recover from. That's where i am now. Seem normal on the outside but inside, PURE SHIT!

Tags: Hai suel itta??? I doubt so.

Hm, actually nothing much have happened these few days.

Yesterday had church and it feels great to be back. Did some cell words then i was off to visit Aung Htet. Was suppose to meet the others going but couldn't find them so went myself and found the rest while walking. We like one gang going to hack Aung Htet on his bed with his broken leg. Talk about what hot nurse and maybe a nurse will give him so extra extra thingys. He would love it. No chairman for the next few weeks and days i guess. Haiz.

Ok, so then today had nothing but only tuition. Maths is my game now. I will own it bg time. Maths must be scared of me now, it better should. Hehe. So dead is maths, cause it is going to die. (I sound really crazy)

O well, that's all.

Tags: Oh my friend, we are suppose to be in Heaven. Hope and Love.

?**i*??max(Opp)

Break it and another peemii will be known.

Hello people! I am actually not at home but at airport using the wireless SG thingy. Its slow but still usable.

Anyway, yesterday wasn't that bad afterall. Went out with Shu Li and David Rachel to catch a movie and chit chat a bit. Watch The Dark Knight for the second time and this time was better as can understand much better what's happening. Hope that i didn't spoil the movie that much. It was great, the day and the movie.

O ya, Aung Htet, get well soon, even though i do not know much about what happened to you.

And actually, now i am with the SG@Soshified people now. They are all watching videos and SNSD on Wenting, AKA Big boss's lappy. They are like magnetised by the com. But also, my sister lappy does not have any SNSD things and i brought just for the fun of it. Hope that i didn't screw up anything on her lappy if not she will kill me. :P

I guess that's about all i have. Tomorrow maybe going to visit Aung Htet and will be having church. Monday no school, so shiok!!! But must do homework, A1!!!

Tags: Forever you and me

They always tell you that you are great but the fact when you admit and confess, they just pop different and stupid reasons to tell you that you are actually not worth. Never admitting or thinking that maybe they also cause the problem. Its pretty ironic that they say such things. They tell you that you will make a great BF or GF but then its just crap. ALL LIES! Its just to make you fell better when the worst is yet to come. Its just pure dumb.

Ok, anyway, today was kinda great. Its like all the prep have finish and now we just have a little time to chill and reflect back but then we will have our prelims. Everything just seem so rush now. So should we feel great or just stress and worried again? Let the time tell.

Anyway, more happenings will be coming my way. Movies with friends, forum meeting again where i will be getting my socks. Great! Sometimes in the most dimmed areas, there is this light but you never know, will it last or not.

Tags: The biggest brickwall in my life. Huge!

Here to share somethings with you guys.

Quote from a book and summarised.
I just sit there and watch him. He had the music in his ear, nodding his head to the music, having his legs resting on the other like any other guy. Then, they approached him. Not the bullies but the girls. They started chatting, nothing unusual, they always do. Both on their knees as there were no chairs but still having the smiles on their faces as they chat happily. Jokes arise then, one of them started laughing hard, shaking about still kneeing, and her breasts seem to touch his legs (Touch as in stroke pass and bounced off). From the back, it seems like he had no reaction!!!

Horny right the paragraph??!! Like some inhuman guy who doesn't feel a crap.

Anyway, no F&N is going into my head as i finish up the last 2 of essay and the brain must stop here!! Screw man, i want all into my head but it just seem to stop and get stuck. LAST 2!!! Stupid. "Bang!" After tomorrow and i will be free. HAHA No A-maths sucker!!! How you like that!!!

Anyway, i guess that would be more cause i still need to study and will update more happenings tomorrow as F&N is the last paper.

Tags: The day when i stop is the day i give up. I won't. I swear.

TGIF.

So damn tired now after all the exhaustion from the non-stop work from exams. Still, i have only 2 papers to survive through and its over. For now.

Then, i still have my prelims and finally, the big O'level. But i can sure be glad of one thing now, i have completed all 5 papers from 2007 to 2003 of my science TYS. Left 5 years to completed. Dumb thing is that i can't use the maths TYS now cause ours is the new one which can calculators. Old one cannot so i must give mine away now. Dumb. I also still have my F&N TYS which is actually 5 years only. Don't know why, but ya. Haven't even started and how to get A1????

However, now, currently i mean, while typing this post, i don't whether to feel happy, glad or just dull and dumped. Dang. Zakir should know what am i talking about. So stupid !! But i am trying my best here. "Just once. seriously. Both of us won't regret." I don't know if you know what am i talking about but it may occur that you are suffering my problem too. Friends, family, love and life. Haiz.

Tags: My wishes over the airspace ... again.